Damn what a piece to read on a Saturday afternoon. Bringing me to tears ! Thank you for reminding me that I am at times too sensitive for this world . The story about the lawyer freebasing and beating his adopted daughter to death has haunted me for years. He walks free today if I’m not mistaken.
One of my faves so far. Loved how you wove all of these vignettes into a bigger narrative. How all the little stories we witness and live shape us into who we are today.
Love this, resonates so much. Now I’m thinking of all the random haunting things that linger in my own life, sometimes reappearing in my mind in the most unexpected times. I used to follow you on instagram captivated by the way you wrote about your dad. I love your writing, wish you’d write a book! But until then, I’m so happy to have found your writing here :)
"...who live inside me like a second city." You can take the girl out of Chicago but you can't take the Chicago out of the girl. You stir the pot of your indelible memories like a master chef.
“Sometimes I’m stunned by the sheer cast of them — these girls and ghosts and mothers and men — who live inside me like a second city.” This line!! Got me thinking about my own cast of characters. I recently read “The Tell” by Amy Griffin. My favorite part wasn’t anywhere in the actual memoir. It was the acknowledgements. Griffin said it took her six months to write – she writes a paragraph about each of her friends and their own specific, lovely uniqueness. It read like poetry (and also me made me think “damn, this girl has a lot of friends”). We are made up of all the people we’ve ever known.
love that note. i think about this all the time — how much that internalized code ruled my life. probably still does. kind of the plot of mean girls and the heathers, no? would love to hear more about your take and experience.
As always, your writing makes me feel seen. Love this so much. According to Glenn Close, her character was originally going to kill herself and when they changed it, she was furious.
The “fault line under [your] skin”- how we are wounded and ignore the injury and accumulate scars and then, forget those. Such a powerful testament to all the ways in which we are shaped and traumatized.
Such haunting images, Molly, whew. Keri Strug on her broken ankle for me is the defining image of girlhood in the 90s. I remember feeling so in awe of her but just as you describe, also feeling like there was something not quite right. Especially the control you could feel that Bela had over her. Looking back it’s chilling, and I also read recently that she didn’t even need to do that second vault, the US would have won gold anyway.
I haven’t thought about Lisa Steinberg since the trial. Stories unlock memories. 12 year old me floated through the rest of the piece… 1987. This is one of my favs of yours… The freedom in or of Substack is so giving.
thank you lex — was wondering what you thought about the lisa steinberg thing — all around the same time a marla hansen and central park 5 — that was the NYC of my childhood — etan patz on the cereal box.
where are you with your greenwhich kennedy piece? my whole childhood was sitting at the kitchen while my mom cut up carrots listening to the evening news. i think about this all the time — staying home from school just to watch a current affair. before social media, it was all just black and white pictures and white male pundits behind a desk vomiting out terrible things about the world while I sat at the kitchen table, dragging turnips through salt, waiting for my dad to walk in
Damn what a piece to read on a Saturday afternoon. Bringing me to tears ! Thank you for reminding me that I am at times too sensitive for this world . The story about the lawyer freebasing and beating his adopted daughter to death has haunted me for years. He walks free today if I’m not mistaken.
ugh — i cant bring myself to google to see if that is true. that image has haunted me my whole life. hedda nussbaum.
I am grateful you survived the Automat.
Being looked at was not the same as being seen. 🔥
xoxo
holy shit.
the final paragraph telling time in such a beautiful way
eerie and stunning, thank you ❤️🩹
thank you josie! so glad it resonated. — the creepiness of it all
This piece brought me to my knees.
Thank you darling Katie Hyde thinking of you and jj and Hollywood pubic hair
HAHAHAGAGAGAHAHA
I love this so much. And this is my first time commenting on Substack!
hi susanna! im so happy you like this piece and also arent we neighbors??
One of my faves so far. Loved how you wove all of these vignettes into a bigger narrative. How all the little stories we witness and live shape us into who we are today.
Love this, resonates so much. Now I’m thinking of all the random haunting things that linger in my own life, sometimes reappearing in my mind in the most unexpected times. I used to follow you on instagram captivated by the way you wrote about your dad. I love your writing, wish you’d write a book! But until then, I’m so happy to have found your writing here :)
"...who live inside me like a second city." You can take the girl out of Chicago but you can't take the Chicago out of the girl. You stir the pot of your indelible memories like a master chef.
“Sometimes I’m stunned by the sheer cast of them — these girls and ghosts and mothers and men — who live inside me like a second city.” This line!! Got me thinking about my own cast of characters. I recently read “The Tell” by Amy Griffin. My favorite part wasn’t anywhere in the actual memoir. It was the acknowledgements. Griffin said it took her six months to write – she writes a paragraph about each of her friends and their own specific, lovely uniqueness. It read like poetry (and also me made me think “damn, this girl has a lot of friends”). We are made up of all the people we’ve ever known.
your comment about the code of popularity was striking. it is interesting how some girls internalize the code while some know it but can't embody it.
love that note. i think about this all the time — how much that internalized code ruled my life. probably still does. kind of the plot of mean girls and the heathers, no? would love to hear more about your take and experience.
"I loved strike school." What a meditation on internalized pain, internalized rage, the ferociousness of this culture. The pacing of it all. xx
so glad you read and enjoyed. i know you know the drill with internalized rage.
As always, your writing makes me feel seen. Love this so much. According to Glenn Close, her character was originally going to kill herself and when they changed it, she was furious.
no way — tell me more!
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/09/fatal-attraction-30-year-anniversary-glenn-close?srsltid=AfmBOooayJRNtRPAjU7O2kbMCnZC3tEGkzVwQvYeV5mXXlYS5rTYMwrJ
I've been obsessed with this movie and the portrayal of Alex for forever LOL!
this is so interesting — the affair was a trigger for her mental illness
The “fault line under [your] skin”- how we are wounded and ignore the injury and accumulate scars and then, forget those. Such a powerful testament to all the ways in which we are shaped and traumatized.
Such haunting images, Molly, whew. Keri Strug on her broken ankle for me is the defining image of girlhood in the 90s. I remember feeling so in awe of her but just as you describe, also feeling like there was something not quite right. Especially the control you could feel that Bela had over her. Looking back it’s chilling, and I also read recently that she didn’t even need to do that second vault, the US would have won gold anyway.
Did you watch the Larry nassar doc by Erin Carr? It lays it all out
yess
I haven’t thought about Lisa Steinberg since the trial. Stories unlock memories. 12 year old me floated through the rest of the piece… 1987. This is one of my favs of yours… The freedom in or of Substack is so giving.
thank you lex — was wondering what you thought about the lisa steinberg thing — all around the same time a marla hansen and central park 5 — that was the NYC of my childhood — etan patz on the cereal box.
we can write a book of essays on the evening news!
where are you with your greenwhich kennedy piece? my whole childhood was sitting at the kitchen while my mom cut up carrots listening to the evening news. i think about this all the time — staying home from school just to watch a current affair. before social media, it was all just black and white pictures and white male pundits behind a desk vomiting out terrible things about the world while I sat at the kitchen table, dragging turnips through salt, waiting for my dad to walk in
I keep playing with it, her is the latest short version: https://open.substack.com/pub/lexierobinson/p/me-and-martha-moxley?r=nhf1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I keep playing with it. Here is the latest version: https://open.substack.com/pub/lexierobinson/p/me-and-martha-moxley?r=nhf1&utm_medium=ios